A Whirlwind Day

I started my last day calm, resolved with the fact that it was just that - my last day. I had completed a three-week mourning period. First, shock and sadness. Then, disappointment and anger. And finally acceptance and anticipation of the next steps. And as I was pulling into the parking lot Friday morning, all of that changed.

A hurried call from my manager - they want to speak with you downstairs. She thinks they have a job to discuss with me.

There had been rumors about a possible job advertising was building for me. I was even told this by our VP of Advertising and Marketing in my original RIF meeting. But I only took it this seriously and had recently learned from HR that there was nada in the works for me.

They wanted to meet with me downstairs - two of them. Right away.

I had a 10 a.m. meeting but would be able to meet at 11 a.m. which everyone agreed was just fine. Throughout my first meeting, I kept wondering what would I do if they offered me something today. Even called my hubby and said what I suspected.

They had a copywriter position - newly built - to propose to me. But I'd need to start work again on Monday, with no gap between jobs. Same salary.

I had four really strong interviews scheduled for next week. I was going to be spending Monday and Tuesday with Larry and was actually looking forward to a little time off to de-stress. Plus, vacation at the end of the month and the idea of getting some things done in the house that really needed to be done. Was it bizarre of me to be even considering a "no" or had I experienced such a long mourning period, that this new development had jostled my very foundation?

Later in the morning, they tell me that they'll approve my vacation at the end of May and even allow me to take a PTO day Tuesday for my hubby's birthday.

I knew I didn't have anything firmly lined up though the prospects were starting to really look good. Was I wrong taking this job and not exploring those first? It would be a huge risk, and I'm not a big gambler when it comes to our finances.

Again, a new development - now it seems they can also enable my current manager to bump up my annual review a little earlier (3 weeks) so I can receive my merit raise as part of my new salary on the new job.

I'm finding it increasingly hard to say no. Sure, I used up all of my sick time and I wouldn't be working with the same team. But my friends would be literally on the floor just above me and I've heard good things about this team. I'd continue accruing time here so if I survived until next January, I'd qualify for three weeks vacation. IF I survived here that long.

"OK, I guess I accept."

Five little words that didn't quite show the conviction I normally have taking on a new job in a new place. But this was no ordinary offer. And it wasn't a new place, just a new floor.

I know that there are no guarantees and I can only hope that I'm not packing up again later this year or next year. But what I can do is approach this position much differently. I am not bringing all of my stuff back to work. Not yet anyway. One day at a time.

And Lar and I will be doing our best over the next six months to put ourselves in a slightly less vulnerable position so if this were to happen again, we'd be better able to handle it.

But I make this promise to myself and my family right now: this is it. I'm not moving anywhere else in the company again or even exploring that option. If I'm another casualty again, and the other two platforms have nothing to offer, I won't even bother to look elsewhere in the organization, because clearly it will just be a temporary Band-aid. I can only hope that this won't be the case.

And I will not go through a RIF again where I stay another three weeks beyond the bad news. That was just unbelievably hard and unbearable for all parties involved. Not again. Just won't do it.

Okay, mind open. Ready to work. We'll see what happens.