Factory Girl, Checking In For Duty!

Anyone who knows me well, knows that I’m not satisfied unless the work I’ve done is top-notch. I’m a detailed person – sometimes too much for my own good – and if I need to stay late, I’ll just do it. I’m about the results and whatever it takes to get the results, I just do it. Am I the first to arrive at a meeting or at my desk? Nope. That’s not my strong suit. But I’m reliable on when I’ll be there. Almost always, it’s 9:15.

Enter the latest scenario to indicate lack of trust on the job. Today I had my hand slapped because instead of coming in at 9, I often come in at 9:15 or 9:20. Sure, once in a while, I come in at 9:30 (with notice given, of course) and stay late to make up the time. Nobody ever asks me how late I stay or seems to mind when I work through lunch because I’m trying to get an article done. That doesn’t seem to matter. Apparently the ship is going down because I am not sitting at my desk at 9 a.m. on the nose.

Do people rely on me for urgent technical or creative support?
No.

Do others in my department depend on my presence to complete their own sections?
Nope.

Are the advertisers or reps (or anyone for that matter!) complaining because I am not sitting there at 9 o’clock each morning?
Heck no.

SMACK!

Okay, tell me once – you’d like me to be there on time. Overkill is really not necessary

Next day – e-mail is sent re-iterating to all that our group needs to arrive on time. (Hey, wait a minute – isn’t this what you already told us yesterday?)

SMACK!

Oh, and an individual meeting held for me only with No. 2 and No. 3 to re-iterate (apparently what they already re-iterated twice). Oh yeah, you trust me, sure. Your mouth is saying it but your actions are saying something completely different.

Next day – e-mail sent out yet again re-iterating what was already emphasized um three times already. Okay, got it. (Meanwhile, I’ve been here early two days in a row after the first message is relayed…)

SMACK!

So, am I doing a good job? Are you pleased with my work? Am I really causing you any troubles? I didn’t think so.

So now I’m officially working 9:15 to 6:15 hours and that’s what they expect me to work, like clockwork. (Or what? Will I get my hand slapped if I decide to come in early one day? Do they have nothing better to do?)

I don’t like to think like an hourly worker. It’s a bad habit to get into, takes your focus off the point of the work you do and puts far too much emphasis on the mechanics of doing it. I prefer to concentrate on the quality of my work, on completing the full extent of my work. If I need to stay late one day, I’ll do it. I won’t charge you for it. I’ll just leave early another day that I could use the extra time or come in later a different day when I’m getting a lot done at my house in the morning. I trust you’ll let me make it up if you trust that I’m not trying to get a free lunch. But apparently, that’s where the problem lies. I guess they do think I want a free lunch and that’s too bad.

Today, a salary-minded individual was basically told ‘we don’t trust you’ and Factory Girl mode has been activated. I was beginning to feel really motivated in this place again after the paranoia, disappointment and hurt from last May’s almost-canning. Now, what’s my incentive to give 100%? I’m clearly not trusted and my work is not appreciated.

If you want an hourly worker, you’ll get an hourly worker. I wasn’t planning to look elsewhere in 2008 – thought I was fine settling in here, but now I’m beginning to question my decision to give it a full go. Maybe they don’t deserve a good worker willing to go the extra mile. Clearly, they don’t even know how to recognize one in this department. That’s too bad.

Factory Girl, punching in and reporting for duty…