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Eat nothing, know nothing, do nothing.
BFF!

Not Another Out-of-Control Celeb

Hard Drinking Devito Bashes Bush on "The View"

If you haven't seen this footage, you just have to watch it. He slurs, he flubs and he really seems to have no idea where he is or why.

It's a bit pathetic but great TV. Enjoy!

You Bet Your Life

Now, I do a bet of harmless gambling and even run a few fantasy leagues and pools. But even I wouldn't take a bet this far.


Nov 26, 4:31 PM EST
Police: Football Bet Leads to S.C. Death

LEXINGTON, S.C. (AP) -- A man fatally shot his friend with a high-powered rifle in a dispute over a $20 bet on the annual South Carolina-Clemson college football game, authorities said Sunday.

James Walter Quick, 42, has been charged with murder in the shooting of Richard Allen Johnson, 43, authorities said. Johnson died from a single shot to the chest, according to a preliminary autopsy Sunday.

The two had bet $20 on the game, with Quick betting on game-winner South Carolina and Johnson for Clemson, Lexington County Sheriff James Metts said. They drank beer all afternoon and watched the game Saturday at Johnson's home, and began arguing about the bet after the game.

Metts said Quick went to his car, got the rifle he normally uses for hunting and fired one shot, hitting Johnson in the chest. Deputies arrested Quick without incident.

Quick was being held Sunday in the Lexington County jail, awaiting a bail hearing. The sheriff's department said he did not yet have an attorney.


I wonder what he would have done if he had lost the bet.

Is It Christmas --- Already?

Okay, I'll admit. I'm more in the holiday spirit than I expected to be. Last year, it was like a trip to the dentist to get me to even unload the Christmas decoration boxes. But this year, I'm ready.

Of course, now I'm just feeling like a big loser. Everyone in my immediate neighborhood has their lights up, their outside decorations on display --- heck, their TREE DECORATED! I feel completely behind. Will I ever catch up? Or by the time I do, will they already be setting up their Valentine's Day decorations?

I worked on Friday during the day but was able to go home early. And when I pulled up our street, there were the neighbors, setting up Santas, stringing the lights on the roof and being festive. And there was our house. With the rolled up Thanksgiving Day flag hanging limply and the little Thanksgiving wreath screaming out "I'm a has-been, you fool!"

Okay, that's it. This week. I can't promise I'll decorate but at the very least, I'll take down Thanksgiving and pull out the Christmas boxes. Perhaps by Friday night, I'll feel like setting things up and becoming holly and jolly.

I'm still eating leftover stuffing. I'm still picking up holiday photo reprints. It can't really be Christmas time already, can it?

CAN IT??!!
Sigh.

The Big Game

Okay, maybe this season it's not quite so much a big deal. We are certainly having our worst season in recent decades. (Thank you, Jeff!)

Still, FSU does have the dubious honor of spoiling the Gators' decent season. After poor Larry Coker's demise yesterday, who can predict what might happen to old Bobby B?

I will watch. I will also shut my eyes and look away when necessary, but alas once a Seminole, always a Seminole.

Okay.
I'm ready.
I'm turning on the TV.
Right now.

Oy.

Just Being Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! It's that one day out of the year to remember why we go to work all of the other days and what and WHO we're working so hard for all year round.

I try to be thankful every day, but sometimes it's easy to get caught up in the to do lists, deadlines and everyday challenges of being a human being in the year 2006.

I'm thankful that I have a loving family that forgives me for my impatience and stubborness and lets me just be me (warts and all).

I'm thankful for the chance to go to work every day and be creative. For a living. All the time. I've never been able to do that before this job and I don't forget that. EVER.

I'm thankful that although I have lots of parts I need to work on and improve, that I have all of my parts and that I'm in general good health.

I'm thankful that I have friends who want to hear from me, who enjoy my company and who listen when I need to bend their ear, virtual or otherwise.

And I'm especially thankful for the bluest of skies, the looming clouds, the light and refreshing rain and the trees, birds, butterflies, flowers and sunshine that I get to wake up to every day.

After just 36 years, I'm finally learning to appreciate the unpredictable nature of life. And that, as Martha would say, is a very good thing.

The Apology

Complete Kramer Video Apology on Letterman


Here it is. Judge for yourself.

Clearly the audience is uncomfortable and not really sure if this is legitimate or a Letterman stunt.

He probably should have gone on Larry King or something a little more news-focused. But I really give a lot of credit to Seinfeld and Letterman for taking this leap so close after the incident to give Richards a forum to air his thoughts.

I still believe though that this will be the last nail in Richards' career after the assured weeks of bad press he has to look forward to. He hasn't been able to have television or movie success since his legendary character Kramer became our favorite quirky neighbor. And I truly think that this has secured that we won't hear from him ever again.

Unbelievable

Seinfeld's Kramer (Michael Richards) Racist Tirade


My jaw is still on the floor. When I first read about this celebrity meltdown, I thought it might be blown out of proportion. And then I saw it.

Unbelievable. So much rage, so much pathetic rage.

I watched the unexpected appearance of Richards via satellite on Letterman last night and I'm not sure if I believe the sincerity or not. He completely seems in shock still and is certainly attempting to do some damage control. But I'm sure how genuine he is. As soon as I can locate that apology footage, I'll include here and you too can judge for yourself.

When I see tirades like this, I'm reminded that we really haven't come all that far in America after all recognizing other human beings as HUMAN. I just can't believe it.

Give A Little Bit

Earlier tonight, HBO aired the live broadcast of Comic Relief. It's hard to believe that it hasn't been held in eight years and that it debuted 20 years ago. (I thought I was in high school when it started, but I wasn't certain until they mentioned the milestone.)

This morning, I waded through my pile of mail from various charities that I receive every week. It had been building up for some time and even when other bills are more pressing, I always make sure that on at least a few occasions a year, we sneak in these donations. I often end up giving more money and to more organizations than I budgeted for, but it usually works itself out in the end. Yep, we're supporters of the Humane Society of the United States, North Shore Animal League, ASPCA, National Resource Defense Council, Animal Legal Defense Fund, Best Friends Animal Society, National Wildlife Federation--- inhale --- Salvation Army, ACLU, FarmUSA and Sierra Club. And give to various other events that come up throughout the year.

A few years ago, I made a conscious decision to give back. I'm by no means a religious person. And honestly, my folks have never been big donors to any groups or causes. But as I got older, I started to see around me that when you do good, you feel good and that what you give, you get back. Not to get all George Harrison on you and I wouldn't say that I believe 100% in karma and certainly not in any kind of Judgement Day, but I do subscribe to the Pay It Forward philosophy (even if the end of the movie sucked and Kevin Spacey's hair looked horrible!)

As you can see, we invest a lot each year to the welfare of animals. Why? I like them better than people. Animals are real. They have no hidden agendas or deep dark motives. And they didn't ask for the circumstances and environment they live in. They're just stuck with it. If we're going to be in charge of it and in some cases, destroy it, the least we can do is try to repair some of the damage and recognize animals for the important part of the world's ecology that they are. It seems pretty simple to me.

Find what you're passionate about, what matters most to you. I really urge you to give back wherever it makes the most sense to you. Maybe it's organizations that help kids, environmental causes or political groups. It might even be your college or a local little league you or your kids were part of. Take the time to figure out what means the most to you or what makes a difference in your life and then put your money where your mouth is.

This year's Comic Relief efforts are focused on efforts to rebuild the Gulfcoast following Hurricane Katrina's destruction. Check out what the group is setting out to do this year and how much more they can do with your help.

We Did It!

I'm happy to say that we went into the corn maze and yep, we even made it out.

I was surprised that Larry and I managed to navigate through the maze pretty effortlessly. We only duplicated our trek one time and actually caught ourselves before we started going down the same path. Supposedly, without a map (or clue) this maze is supposed to take about 2 hours. We were able to complete it in 40 minutes.

I think we were both shocked and maybe even a little disappointed how well we did. The kids didn't have as much luck. Brandon and Tiffany ran across the same markers - um, four times. But they did manage to make their way back to the exit! Well, sorta. (Via the entrance!)

For a fleeting moment, I considered suggesting that we head back in and get ourselves lost again, but that only brought visions in my mind of getting so lost that hours and hours later we'd still be trying to find our way back.

Nope. We'll settle for being good. Or just lucky.

Survivor A La Mad TV

Have you seen the latest parody of this season of Survivor and its racially-focused theme? A colleague of mine from work forwarded it to me. It definitely gets the message across loud and clear.

Enjoy!

Check Out Where We're Going Saturday

I only hope that I can finish it. Cue the Children of the Corn theme...

It's a corn maze located in central Florida just north of Orlando. Lar and I are headed there to see if we can find our way back and bringing son Brandon and girlfriend Tiffany along to enjoy the adventure (and as added protection, in case they need to send out a search party).

For more information on the place, click here. And wish us luck!

Me? Offended?!

I'll be the first to admit: it takes a lot to offend me.

My humor is a bit off-color and I have a wide acceptance of what kind of comedy material makes me laugh. I don't shy away from the "blue" stuff. As long as there's an element to it that makes it laugh-out loud funny, something smart or clever or worth the shock value.

But tonight I watched a television show and I felt like I had gone back in time about 50 years. It's a new show on ABC that debuted in a special timeslot, following the harmless Dancing with the Stars. It's called Show Me the Money and is a gameshow. (No, this is not the offensive part.) It stars Williams Shatner as host. (This isn't it either.) And it's a cross between Deal or No Deal, the Laugh-In go-go dance segments, The Benny Hill Show and Sabado Gigante. (Bingo!)

I couldn't believe the audicity of the producers to just showcase shaking and shimmying dancers named Bambi or Fawn (or similar) in front of the camera with no real point but to reveal the dollar figures while doing a special dance style as barked by host Shatner. Okay, granted there's a little Vanna White quality but she's managed to mastermind her own empire off of her popularity for being pointless, so that's something. I felt dirty after watching this new show, and frankly, I couldn't even get past the first fifteen minutes.

Did you see this mess of a show and find it as sexist, lame and pointless as me?

R.I.P., FSU

Virtually, I'm wearing black. The Seminoles are officially history.

Not that their season didn't start out badly enough, but after tonight's embarrassing shutout to Wake Forest, all hope is lost.

R.I.P., Seminole Legacy.
You are outta here.

Signed,
A former Seminole Booster

Dog Day Afternoon

I was just supposed to help sell baked goods and walk the dogs once in a while if they got a little restless. I had no idea that I'd get choked up watching parents and their kids open their arms and home to a new lovable, furry member of the family.

Today's Tampa Bay Beagle Rescue event reminded me of the love I have for my own little rescue dog and the passion I feel about the subject of shelter dog adoption over breeding. I can't begin to tell you how frustrated and angry I feel whenever someone tells me they bought a dog or cat from a pet store or breeder, or even bred their own dog. There are so many wonderful dogs out there, many even pure-breds, who were abandoned or returned because people underestimated the time and love involved in adding a pet to the family. And these shelter dogs and cats have SO much love to offer. They inexplicably seem to understand that you're saving them and are forever grateful in everything they do.

I was just a volunteer today and the person who coordinated the event has put so much energy and time into supporting her passion. I guess part of me is a little envious. I've always said that I wanted to do something to make a difference in the lives of animals, dogs especially. I give to a lot of really good organizations that affect change and help find forever homes for dogs and cats.

And I did make a deliberate decision nearly five years ago to stop eating animal flesh because I read and viewed things that enabled me to see animals differently than I ever had before - as living, thinking and feeling beings, like you and me...and like my dog. And if the thought of seeing my dog on a menu bothered me so much, why shouldn't seeing a pig or a chicken or cow being treated like an object and not a living being make me feel the same way? I could no longer could see any of them as part of my lunch. And though I've taken baby steps to get to the point I'm at currently, I know that I still have a long way to go. But, I'm moving in the right direction because it's something I really do feel passionate about. Sometimes I just need to remind myself of that.

This Friday, I felt a renewed passion - not just about that life decision made nearly five years ago, but about the prospect of exploring how I can really make a difference in the lives of dogs like my little Dexter. I'm not sure what that will mean but I know how I felt Friday witnessing the change happening right in front of me. And now, I need to figure out what I can do to feel it again.

The Big Faith Hill Controversy

Faith Hill's Reaction on the CMAs (11/06/06)


Who knew that in a week with major political upsets, huge resignations and scandals abound, that by the end of the week, people would STILL be talking about this?

What do you think? When they announced Carrie Underwood as the winner of Female Country Vocalist of the Year at this year's CMAs, did Faith Hill show a genuine reaction or was she just goofing around as she insists?

I'm of the opinion that she's joking. Her facial expression is just too blatant and the gestures, over-exaggerated. But I think if she really was just teasing, she would have been smarter staying on camera and smiling after she did it, instead of pulling herself out of view. It leaves much too much for interpretation.

Check it out and let me know what you think.

A New Direction

Well, well, well. It seems my last nail-biting blog entry was for naught. Who knew that the Dems would do as well as they did?

Sure, in my home state of Florepublican, it was not exactly a shock that Charlie Crist won the big governor race. Jim Davis barely advertised while Crist messages flooded the airwaves, streets and even downtown cityscape (illegally sometimes).

The new buzz phrase is "A New Direction." I think I almost caught W using it. Certainly, the White House's big decision to knock ole Rumsfield out of his position is proof that the voters' message was loud and clear Tuesday. The military effort in Iraq is not going well, and the Bush Administration is 100% responsible for that. The only way to make change happen is to get rid of the old players. The voters did it and finally, even the Prez had to address it. Not that anything is going wrong over in the Middle East - oh, heck no, it's all peaches and cream if you listened in on his Wednesday conference. (I had no choice since my 1 p.m. soap lost its airtime thanks to my buddy, George.) But the real truth behind the decision lies deep, deep, DEEP beneath the words we heard. And Rumsfield's departure is finally one wee bit of acknowledgement of that truth.

First, the people gave us the House. Then the Senate. And finally, the mandate of the people made one of the most stubborn, ineffective world leaders of all time finally remove a major decision-maker from a fiasco of a military operation that continues to put at risk the lives of our friends and our families.

Now, I finally know that I'm not alone. I'm ready for that new direction. Let's get rolling.

Nostalgic for Old Late-Night TV

The Thing With Two Heads (Trailer)

Ever since a little Halloween gag at work last Tuesday and seeing Steve Carell's costume on this week's episode of The Office, I've had this horribly campy movie on the brain. How can you miss with Ray Milland and Rosey Grier? I asked a handful of people at work about it and no one really remembers it, yet amazingly I do and I was only 2 years old when it was released! (Something tells me that I saw it as a rerun a few years later...)

The trailer now shows just how out of place and politically incorrect this film would be in today's world. But it still brings back a lot of great memories of the terrific crap you'd end up watching on late-night network television before the pre-cable era.

The midnight movie. Aah... do you remember this so-horrible-it's unintentionally-funny flick?

It's A Family Affair

Yesterday, I was reminded why we plan and hustle and do so much non-stop during our busy, busy lives throughout the week ... for the relaxing weekend moments with the ones we love.

During the day, Larry and I took our dog Dexter for a little trip to the park. He was supposed to hit the Stride for Strays charity walk but after mucho delays and my fickle, fickle mind, we realized that we just didn't have the time for travel and fighting the USF football fans headed to their game. So off to Lettuce Lake we went for a shorter but quiet little trek through the trees. It was exhilarating and peaceful, and just what the doctor ordered.


Larry and I invited over for dinner our son Derek, his fiancee Misty and our little grandson, Deacon. It was just nice catching up, sharing good conversation over a tasty meal, with no particular place to go.


It's hard to believe that one of the kids is planning their "big day." It seems like I was just meeting the boys. And yet that was over 12 years ago. Time really flies.

Do Over!

Yeah, I'm starting over. I looked back at old entries and it had been so long since I started this original blog and really long since I'd updated it, that it just didn't feel right anymore. The blog didn't grow with me like it should. Instead, I kept on moving and my blog just sat there.

Since I started doing an entertainment blog, I've been itching to come back to Cankuhn's Lagoon. Maybe it was Tattoo calling out to me, but it seemed like the natural thing to do, throw out all of the old entries and start anew.

So my freecycling promotion, progress going veggie and outrage after the 2004 presidential election are just virtual dust in the wind.

It's November 2006 and I'm taking another crack at it. Commentary, life happenings and my typically bizarre observations about the most mundane things.

And we'll see if I get it right this time.