New Kind Of Resolutions

I've been tinkering around with whether or not to even set resolutions this year. I tried something different a few years back and I've simply used this instead, modifying it slightly every year.

A friend gave me this idea, and I think it's really helpful. Make a list of 25 things you want to do in your lifetime (I say this rather than before you die, because that just sounds so macabre, doesn't it?) That's right, 25 different things and it can be anything. Maybe you want to ride a horse or learn a language or go somewhere in particular. The more concrete the better. If you make it too broad and undefined like "I want to be independently wealthy" then you leave yourself guessing, am I there yet?

I have my list and updated it two years ago, and I've already knocked off a few things on it. Own my own home, learn how to play golf...and there's some on my list that I might never get a chance to do, but if the opportunity affords it, I want to be really clear on my dreams and what I want.

Some people even go a step further and every time something is accomplished on the list, they add something new to try so there's always 25 on the list. And I might revisit that later years from now when I'm hopefully down to 10 or fewer. But for now, to ensure that I make these things happen, I just cross it off the list.

If this sounds way too arduous a task, then start smaller. Make up a list of new things you want to try in 2007- a new sport, a new hobby, a new book, even a new food you might have feared, and then keep that list posted somewhere you can see it all year. I've had fun trying new things and I've found that it can support other efforts (like taking a sedentary person like me and getting them out of the chair and doing something different). Last year, golf. This year, hmmm...guitar, maybe? Just another thought.

So make your list. And check it - every year. (This time of year is a good time to reflect on it.) And figure out what you're going to do on your list next year. I know I have. And I know I will. And who knows? Maybe along the way, I'll be able to knock off another one, too!

Cool Calorie Site

Hey, I found this groovy site that's really helpful and quick to use for tracking calories, protein, carb, fat --- whatever the heck you're monitoring in your food.

http://www.calorielab.com/

It also has some other helpful tabs specifically designed to help you track calories burned and make smarter choices when you go to one of most people's guiltest pleasures --- Mickey D's!

Enjoy!

Merry Christmas to all...

...and to all, a good night!

Season's greetings from the whole family and here's to a peaceful new year.

Happy Holidays, Everybody!

Here's wishing you a very Merry Christmas today...
and if you're doing a little surfing later, be sure to check out this very cool holiday link:

http://www.elfyourself.com/

Have some photos available online and you'll have a ball with this one. Trust me!

Happy Holidays,
Cankuhn and the Kuhn Clan

Taking Baby Steps

Okay, I'm moving forward. A little...

I'm getting ready for Tuesday's ease into some changes to my routine. I'm not waiting until 1/1 like most people (or 1/2 or 1/3 for more realistic people anticipating lots of serious drinking and partying New Year's weekend). Nope. I'm making changes to my eating and activity level starting Tue 12/26.

So here's what I've done so far:

1. I'm signed up for a virtual community weight-loss challenge on iVillage.com Here's the link if you're looking for something, too. Already I'm starting to enjoy hearing from other people and from support team members/experts about the struggles that we all share. I think it could be a really helpful program, not to exclusively help me lose the weight and get in shape, but as one little tool in the big toolbox.
   
   
2. I purchased a brand new, full-size journal. I know that for me writing is truly an outlet to express what I'm really feeling. Now, granted - I'll use this blog as well as my communications at iVillage to share what's going on, feelings and progress...but this other journal will be a more private resource for me to not only log my numbers (pounds, inches, workout info, food diary, etc.) but I'll also be able to address some serious, heavy stuff that comes up while I'm going through these changes. And some of it, I just might want to keep between me and the journal. (No offense!)
   
   
3. I've done a little research on Shapes Total Fitness for Women and Curves, and I really think Curves is the way to go for me. But I still need to get money info and find out more about any possible portability of the membership across locations (haven't seen that mentioned anywhere - beginning to think that may not be the case). I hope it is though, because there are locations only 3 or 4 miles from me at work - and a few only 5-7 miles from me at home. So having those options would really help me stay on task regardless of the day of the week. Also, trying to get some hours of operation info. The Web sites only tell you so much. I hope to sign up (if it's feasible) some time next week. We'll see - I'll keep you posted! Until then, I'm going to dust off the treadmill in the house and start walking again, possibly with hubby at night. It may mean a shift in my work schedule back to old hours, but I'll do whatever I need to do to make this program work for me.
   
   
4. I've expressed interest in joining Weight Watchers again with an at-work group, but they may not get the number of people necessary for it to actually happen.

But there's still plenty to do...

1. As I mentioned, I need to actually sign up for fitness resources and support at a nearby gym! I know that I just haven't had the luck to do this on my own and I'm pushed by other people when they're involved. I like to please other people, and honestly, it sounds strange, but I always like to be the good student. If I'm in that setting, I'll want to perform well so I get the gold star and if that helps me lose weight and get in shape, then so be it. At least I already know this about myself...
   
   
2. I plan to have Lar take a before photo of me for my journal only --- maybe I'll share it with you later but right now, that baby is staying with me, too! But I am going to make a collage and either post in my book or somewhere noticeable in the house when I'm on the PC or in the fitness area with photos of me when I was thinner. I've never been super thin and that's not my goal. But I was in better shape, healthier and happier in my own skin. And I just don't want to be restricting myself. It's important to me that I'm able to do whatever it is that I want to do. I think seeing those images might give me hope that I can get back there again someday with patience hard work and real commitment.
   
   
3. I plan to schedule a doctor's appointment with my general physician right away for a physical and to discuss the eating and fitness plans I'm embarking on. I think it would be a smart thing to do. I'm due anyway and I want to make sure that there aren't other medical issues that already need to be addressed. I have been experiencing some chest pains off and on over the past month and sudden shortness of breath. Not real sharp pains, and I do think they could be stress-related given the holidays, spending lots of money and increased workload lately. Last time, I was checked out by a cardio doctor I was perfectly fine and we attributed it to the stress I was under at the time, too. Still, I'm fatter now than I was then and things do change over time.
   

Okay, I've gotten personal enough for one day! :) But I definitely have some little steps in mind all planned out here to get this very important transformation in progress. My next step will be to map out my goals, what I want and by when, and the steps I'm taking to make it happen.

The journey is just about to begin...

Not Really Needing Even More Holiday Stress

I won't go into details because if I say too much, I'll say more than I probably should. But I was reminded today again (twice actually) that not everyone really appreciates the generosity I've demonstrated to them over the years. And by generosity, I mean more than just material things --- I mean friendship, thoughtfulness, attention and respect.

I'm finding that with some people, the more I give, the less I get --- on a regular basis. I don't give so I can get back. I sincerely do enjoy seeing people happy. Giving someone the perfect gift and watching that reaction --- or doing something for somebody that they either can't do for themselves or didn't think anyone knew they wanted... I love that stuff! It's like finding a hidden window to someone's happiness and you and only you figure out how to open it. I totally dig being that person to deliver the happiness. But every once in a while, it would be really nice to know that being thoughtful is appreciated--- is sharing a little time a lot to ask?

And so, I've made a decision with those particular folks. I'm tired of always being on the giving end. I have too many other people to care for, including myself, so that's it. I can't hold hands any longer, and I just won't bend anymore. I'm done.

Hemming and Hawing

I haven't decided if I'm going to use this blog as a personal journal to detail my next big adventure. It could be a deeply personal journey, sure to be a long road and may reveal a bit more of myself than I normally share with friends, family or colleagues who might be reading this. Then again, it will become a really big part of my life, so I guess people I know might as well understand the struggles I'm facing on a daily basis.

I'm embarking on a life change right after the holidays. I'm not waiting until January 1 or January 2, though I am waiting until after Christmas Day.

I'm going to attempt to change my life - embark on a more active lifestyle, work on my food issues and improve my health and fitness. Yep, I want to lose pounds - lots of them - and I even have a certain number in my mind for the scale and for my pants size, but I have other ways I'll gauge my success that won't involve numbers. And I will be sharing all of this over the next few months as I do my best to make a difference in my life that will help me stick around a lot longer and lead a healthier, more energized life.

Wish me luck...and any support you want to throw my way will be gladly accepted. More on this new adventure in many more blog entries to come.

Cankuhn's Tops for 2006: Best Ballpark Stop

BUSCH STADIUM (ST. LOUIS, MO)

Okay, we hit four different parks this year, so there really is a selection to choose from, but without question, I loved the new St. Louis Cardinals' Busch Stadium the most.

I'm an odd bird and actually enjoy our visits to the Trop here in the Tampa Bay area, but I realize it's not your typical stadium. We also visited the Marlins' stadium (aka Dolphin stadium) and while the fans were unbelievably loyal and stayed through the end of the game in spite of a huge loss courtesy of the visiting Astros, we were dying from the heat and the park felt like an old one. (But at least the seats were wider, helpful for fat-bottomed girls like myself!) And Kansas City's ballpark was terrific (loved the colorful fountains!) but it didn't really stand out beyond that one unique element.

But Busch...aah... the view of the city, the energy of the sold-out crowds and the veggie burger - hooray!! They help add to my positive feelings, but I think Busch reminded me a lot of one of my favorite ballpark experiences, Camden Yards in Baltimore.

Larry and I had an absolute blast - and the Cards even lost their butts to the Reds of all teams! But the experience was so worth it!

Cankuhn's Tops for 2006: Best New Hobby

GOLF

I used to laugh at the men in the funny green and black plaid pants and pink polos. And the thought of watching it for recreation on television, well, that struck me as just downright funny.

Now, I'm one of those goofballs. And I'm not even that good. But it's the potential to become better that I find just fascinating.

First, you have to learn how to make contact with the little white ball (or in my case, pink or purple ball, since I prefer to play it with the same seriousness of a pro putt-putter). Once you do that, the rest is practice and patience with yourself.

So many times, I'll have a hole from hell, one in which I simply cannot control what I'm doing behind the ball. I get frustrated, I wreck the ground beneath me (not on purpose, of course) and I drop the F-bomb. A LOT. But I'm starting to understand the necessity of moving on to the next hole and starting over. Every hole. Every time. It's one of the few games that you get the opportunity to start over. Eighteen times! If you can tell yourself that it's a new hole, a fresh start, and treat it as such, you can get better over time. You really can.

Larry and I have only been playing for less than a year but already I see tremendous improvement in our game. And we have many more years together to practice and work on that patience. And many, many more F-bombs to drop, too!

But golf has provided a new adventure for me this year - something I never thought I would do or could do. It's an easy way to spend a few hours with my husband, offer myself a challenge, get some sun and a little activity and forget about the rest of the world.

I haven't gotten a chance to play in at least three weeks and I've really missed it. I hope to get in a little golf next weekend, but I don't know if that will happen given holiday schedules and possible rain around the corner.

The links may have to wait for another day.

First Set of Movie Noms

Anyone who knows our family also knows we take our movies very seriously, even though Larry and I have unexpectedly stayed out of theaters for much of the year. We are Oscar-crazy so when the Golden Globe nominations come out, it's a big deal, because it's the very first clue at just what's got people buzzing in Hollywood.

Here's this year's selections and there's some noticeable oversights --- namely, for the movie nominations, not much acting kudos for Bobby and not a thing for All The King's Men. And for TV, sure, it's nice to see Hiro from Heroes nominated (actor Masi Oka) but what about Gregory Itzin as President Logan in 24 or Jean Smart as the first lady, same show. They were phenomenal last season.

But I do wish the Oscars would take a cue from the Golden Globes and create for the movies at least a best comedy or musical category so these movies get recognized, too.

I'm sure I'll be watching this year's Globes telecast scheduled for January 15, 2007 at 8 p.m. on NBC.

Making My Move

Okay, that's it. I'm resolving to make things different in 2007.
I'm getting healthier and more fit this year.
And the more tools I use, the better.

Here's a neat program that ivillage.com is launching and I plan on using whatever resources to make it happen.

What are you resolving to do next year?

One Happenin' Holiday Cube

Oh no! Has the Christmas spirit infected me completely?

I'm even decorating in my office at work. Usually at Halloween I'd throw a few goofy decorations up but Christmas has varied over the years from place to place, depending on the vibe at the office and how my work schedule was going. Last year at this time, I was at the newspaper already but I was not feeling very jolly so I barely got up our decorations at home, let alone at work.

This year, I've added a little color and pizzazz to my otherwise dirty, dull cube. Only my photos of animals, baseball players and a few cool shots of Superman and outer space give it any zip at all.

But now, I've got this to look at...

And I've got some multi-colored lights strung along my cube wall (they didn't turn out so well in the photos though). So I guess this means Christmas in truly on the brain, even mine.

There's no turning back now!

Cankuhn's Tops for 2006 - Best Musical Discovery (Current)

KT Tunstall-Suddenly I See

Here's my other real discovery this year --- the music of KT Tunstall. I love her voice, the instrumentation and lyrically, her songs are clever and infectious. This is a really innovative video, too, but I absolutely heard her hit songs BEFORE I saw any of her videos.

Thank you, Catherine McPhee, for introducing me to her on American Idol.

Hope you enjoy this one!

Cankuhn's Tops for 2006 - Best Musical Discovery (Classic)

Elvis Costello - Pump It Up

Okay, I missed his appearance on last night's Letterman rerun for the SECOND time, but I just wanted to share a sample of my most exciting musical find for 2006 - the music of Elvis Costello.

What a nincampoop I was for not looking into his stuff more closely sooner. It was like listening to Dark Side of the Moon for the first time just five or six years ago. An ephiphany!

Oh well, better late than never.

Enjoy!

Cankuhn's Tops for 2006 - New TV Show (Comedy)

UGLY BETTY

I am surprised to be writing this but I love Ugly Betty. All of the critics raved about this show early on in the summer previews, but much of the time, they prefer quirky, yappy shows that are just hip with no substance.

Not Betty. It's smart, funny and sweet. There are no deep, complex storylines yet there are so many layers to the characters and the real meaning behind the everyday situations.

I loved the actress who plays Betty in Real Women Have Curves and once again, she completely captures the viewers' attention, wins our hearts and keeps us rooting for her. Even when we're not sure her loyalty or moves are necessarily the right ones.

Cheers to Salma Hayek for showing once again that she is a smart, strong force to be reckoned with in Hollywood. As executive producer for the show, she's taken a soapy telenovella and elevated it to something with some real meaning.

If you haven't given it a shot, go to www.abc.com and catch up with the archive of previous shows. It's free and you'll see what you've been missing.

Cankuhn's Tops for 2006 - New TV Show (Drama)

HEROES

I can't wait for January 22 already!

I LOVE Heroes! It's the first show in a long time that both excites me and frustrates me. Last night's show was supposed to answer so many questions but instead it just raised new ones. ARGH!

So did Eden die? Is the Haitian dude regarded as the "traitor" they've been promoting all week? Will Peter really explode and destroy NYC?

The show is unique, bizarre and a breath of fresh air in a sea of legal dramas and cop shows. I was a huge Buffy and the Vampire Slayer fan and it reminds me of the quirkly hip show except it takes itself much more seriously. Still, I can appreciate the special effects and eerie setting it creates.

America is HEROES-crazy, and unlike its decision to stick by a show like LOST (that to me promised yet never delivered), this makes a whole lot more sense!

So what is Nikki (or Jessica) --- two people or a woman coping with a split personality? Shouldn't Claire and Peter date? (They're just so darn cute together.) And doesn't Nathan the Congressman seem really creepy?

Welcome To Christmas in the Kuhn House

Hurrah!

We've officially decorated for Christmas... okay, inside mainly - the tree and the house are looking quite festive.

We still have the outside decorations and lights to put up (probably on Sat or Sun) and we'll probably get the village set up Friday night. But I like the way things are looking.

Even shopping is moving along nicely...I'm quite surprised! I'm typically scrambling the week or so before buying gifts and right now, it looks like I'll have most of it under control in the next week or so.

I'm really trying to stay in the spirit - yep, I'm even listening to the 24/7 holiday music stations. Anything to keep that "have a holly, jolly Christmas" flowing through my veins.

It's so easy to get down or panic-stricken or just plain exhausted at this time of the year. I'm determined to hang in there and keep the pep!

And if that means non-stop Michael Buble and Nat King Cole carol renditions, then so be it. I'll do what I have to! So, pucker up!

Oh, To Be A Teen Again

When I was a teen, I couldn't wait to outgrow it. Now, I long for those much simpler days. I recently caught one of my favorite movies, Sixteen Candles on TV and it reminded me of those mushy, gushy feelings we expect to experience when everything is new and everything new we do seems strange and excitingly mysterious.

When we grow up, everything new becomes frightening and could turn into a big mistake. It's funny how our perspectives change. We're actually a lot wiser when we're younger and less afraid of the consequences. Sure, we take some chances but we go with our gut, with our heart and logic, bank statements and what our neighbors or co-workers will think are not as paramount to the issue.

Aah...and remember this big moment?

For most of us girls hitting puberty, this was the ultimate moment. When the boy you wanted, wanted you back. Who wouldn't want to be Samantha on that dining room table, even after the day from Hell she'd had prior to it? It's the fantasy of every young girl who has a crush on the older hunky boy at school and it was fun to see that again twenty years later.

I happened to move some old keepsakes from one storage case to a different one today, to move some Christmas decorations. And sure, I stopped to look them over. I discovered my diaries from 1983 and could have sat there all night reading them if only I'd had the time. I found my scrapbook that I made documenting my college trip to Europe, summer of 1989. I found old friends' letters and even some from my grandmother who's since passed away.

It was both exciting to see what else I'd find and a little eerie. I don't feel like that same person. The shy, studious and quiet kid I was while growing up and going to school is still a part of me and it's taught me to be reserved when necessary, creative when essential and a listener when it makes sense. But I'm defined by so much more now. The pain of an early failed relationship (divorced by age 23)- struggles with my own weight and body image issues throughout my entire life - and this constant inner feeling of awkwardness, like I've never really belonged to my era has always been with me. I've always felt like I was born at the wrong time, you know? I relate more to people older than me - have always dated people older than me - and so I've constantly felt out-of-place.

When I read through these old journals and diaries, I hear a teenager who can't wait for that awkwardness to go away and sense the certainty that some day I'll fit in and always know how to do the right things. Now, as an adult, I'm a little disheartened because the reality is - uh, nope, still the same awkward kid I once was, I've just learned some coping mechanisms for dealing with it and ways to distract people from it! Namely - a sense of humor! It has been the only thing that's saved me.

So, Samantha, too may be all grown up but something tells me that somewhere she too is still longing for easier days with Jake Ryan, missing panties in the hands of the resident geek and grandparents invading your bedroom.

(Of course, now Jake is a stay-at-home dad, the geek's a successful psychic solving mysteries and unfortunately, grandma and grandpa are pushing up the daisies.)

Oh well, maybe I should just pack up this old stuff before I depress myself even further.

Could It Be?

Is this really the holiday spirit I'm starting to feel?

Okay, you know I didn't greet this Christmas all too happily (see my earlier entry). First, I was just angry. Everyone in my neighborhood had put up their trees and outside decorations and it was only the day after Thanksgiving. Then I was anxious --- "Wait for me!" Now, I'm pumped and ready! Let's go...let's get festive!

Larry and I normally put up our decorations the first weekend of December if our schedule allows it and it looks like this year's calendar will. But I just can't get over how early everyone's talking Christmas this year. The stores had up displays before Halloween had even taken place.

But I'm actually looking forward to tonight. We will officially drag out the boxes of decorations and put the harvest theme away for another year. I love the look of the house at this time of year and I will miss it. Our home has so many golden and auburn tones throughout that it just really feels right at home in Fall's colors and decorations.

Still, I must move along with the rest of the world and acknowledge that the Christmas season is here.

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Even my dog is ready for it, so I guess I'd better be, too.